Is my good life pure justice?

At the last of the moment I decided to cancel my no-refund flight to the US to visit a friend and use the rest of the time for getting professional expertise on the interactive Tango project I’ve been working on for a while.  My friend Sam didn’t have the time to receive me as planned and my sister will have the house full at the beginning of my visit; so I would have had to stay a few days somewhere else, perhaps in NY.  Or, I change my plans and spend the whole time in NY and really get deep into Tango mode at every hour possible.

My thoughts where getting busier than my intuition could follow its inputs.  Then, I stopped at a jerk; what the fuck am I doing!  And yes, the plane will fly anyway and the friend or family member may visit me instead.  Great ideas.

It has been more than a year since I last posted on my blog and yes, a hell of a lot has been going on in my life.  From environmental MAS studies in Basel to Shamanismus in Gaehwil to work for a controlling office of labor worker’s pay to Tango Passion in Zurich and plenty of “no-go” affairs after the termination of a long-term relationship.  But I am still kicking my way through life and making plenty of new friends an foes as I stomp along with my barefooted shoes.

The skills of justifying my behavior, as I’ve learned, is quite touchy indeed.  In justification lies the foundation for my own personal justice on what I find as morally correct.  So with each new justification, I web my own limitations of what I can or cannot do.  Because I haven’t travelled in 10 years such a distance per flight; because my Tango project will get new non-dancing people into this fabulous motion of dance; because a new relationship may become my new destiny; it is okay to be doing this and flying the great distance once again in my life before I may embellish the hidden world with my very own precious beauty.  And, I was right in the middle of my own bull-shit justification!  Grow-up I exclaimed.  Because I can justify my behavior, doesn’t make what I am doing ANY BETTER AT ALL.  I am just as much to blame as all the rest.

Elisabeth Kolbert Elizabeth Kolbert – The sixth extinction may have it all right; but, she flies to her interviews and has produced three children to this already way overcrowded people planet.  Managers making the new Tesla automobiles may be producing the most efficient cars on earth; but, they fly to most meetings and use up raw material and tons of grey energy.  Everywhere I look, I can spot justification of human behavior.

It was pretty funny when I told my friends and family, that I will not be flying; because I just cannot compromise this with my newly made environmental knowledge and actually knowledge which hasn’t been kept secret for the public over several decades now.  The level of CO2 is critical.  And yes, it has been at higher levels before, some 50 millions years ago perhaps.  Just with this tiny difference that it took a few thousand years to get there and gave its flora and fauna enough time for necessary changes.  We have gotten to this level of CO2 404 parts per million in the atmosphere at “just-in-time” speed of modern time industrialisation.  Well hell, the industry may have shifted as the width of our ties; but the flora and fauna is not used to this speed of human volacity.  No time to be changing their delicate skins or internal organs; plus, if there had been time for this, there is no migration space left for them to migrate to on a natural basis of environmental climate change.  Perhaps a good spot would have been somewhere more up north, but there now is a city or a mall or a parking lot or an cleaner-production industry park.  So this speed of change and the space for change are the human-factor of species killing.  No justification.

The response from my friend Sam, encouraged me to create this new piece of thought on this platform.  I leave his words untouched:

“as humans- esp. Americans- live a life of consumerism.  Hardly respect the delicate and fragile environment. People travel to New York for shopping!  Or drive to nearby grocery with a 4×4 to get milk , Fly to California to attend a football game!  Or go on a weekend to Las Vegas to gamble and come back !  Globally they talk about global warming but also they talk about global dimming due to smog.  After 9/11 all flights were grounded -no plane to fly for several days- so a surprise discovery had been that the weather was all of a sudden bright and sunny for that weekend !  The study shows with satellite images a huge atmospheric difference before and after the event observing much less clouds/smog that was produced by thousands of daily jet planes produces !  It is man-made, self-inflicted phenomenon.”

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my kitchen window

I see it now, all its branches full of snow

the leaves not gone, just waiting low

behind the scene I make believe

the kids are not at school

some grander tasks take hand the child

to build a house a mother may adore

and father smiles

to see his pride

of cells presumed his own..


freshly pressed in SBB and fairly late to work:-)

my kitchen window

my kitchen window

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bubbles of the heart

I wake up in the middle of the night as my body’s taken space,

to toss me up and toss me down and bring me out to write,

it never ends the love of hearts to loose and lose your place.

The plight of life is all you need to dare to be alive,

whatever comes whatever ends your truest blooming form,

make sure to give it all and look for darkness or the unknown choice waiting just for me.

As I am the light myself, the love it shows as candles through the night…it may blow out or quickly fail, but rest assure it comes again; all I need is trust.

The church bell rings, the blackness thrives, my blood is flowing fast and far to dance and sing and risk my skin and never ask what for this mill.

The one I search the one I love is here inside my house, the doors are open wide no room for simple pride – no masks, no heals, just flesh and juice to mingle up with yours.


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Sunday Morning outing

Sounds fill my heart on an early morning walk through the swamp.  Buzziness and pleasure combines the mind.  Man is part of this world and our marks on nature keep pace with the birds and fishery.  Have I changed so much, or is it the world-changing. Are my ailments universal or is it just a personal state of being.  The wounds and healings arrive simultaneously and it is my choosing of which to adhere to first – or none, leave it and observe the slowness in me.

Pure nature, no alterations made..

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How to get five fingers on filthy feet

1. class feet

1. class feet

walking the wet wild woods

walking the wet wild woods

purest and all-ground dirt

purest and all-ground dirt

without my feet, i’d be a worm; without my head, i’d be none here..

without my shoes i’ve learned to walk the long and silky undergrid; some slush and gush and awfully squirming sliver bugs..

without my woods, i am the lady with some lovely finger wear..



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crossing a deadly path

It took me some time to see the direction of his steadfast aim;

barely moving barely breathing barely touching our concrete shame of lane,

the slimy twist of skin slithers up his boneless spin of all too many rings..

i knelt down low and poked up slow his body to my soul.

At once he twirled and gave my eyes the quilt of half his size;

a place i found not far but wise,

to dig below the wilting leaves and all so tender pedosphere..

His ground his ground he’s found alas to make some peace with hominine..

The worm

(in response from Sam..)

He thought that was a close call:

I barely escaped our mutual path…

it could have been fatal,

but I was lucky to have a good soul passing my way,

seeing me more than a parasite and less than a danger to her life…

atop bringing my mention to her human world and closest friends.

I must be bigger than I think…

I must be more significant than I was made to think…

I’ll write about her…

that beautiful lady that left me to my self

and picked me with more than just her eyes

and carried me in her hand to a trusted piece of land

and made me a sizable thing worthy of a letter and some words.

Dear worm friends:

Today it took a moment to see this giant creature that crossed my path,

for such a mighty size it is like a strain to turn my neck-less head

and see who is looming above me…

She bent closer and I rolled over and our eyes met…

I felt a jolt of fear and joy…

it was even touchy when she poke me with her limb…

I never thought such a close encounter could take a place.

In my space.

Somehow I was in peace and fearless…

I had good vibes about her…

She traced my move into the leaves curiously,

then after I hid in safety and gratefully,

I watched that soft skinned fully developed,

pretty looking warm bodied tower smiling in a gesture of joy,

the swiftly motion of her body in one united harmonized piece gracefully

and lightly in ease walking away,

leaving me in a swamp of thoughts and ideas…

Could this crossed path be a destiny?

And to whom?

Me or her?

Could ever a worm like me have feelings to a creature her level?

And if so…

how can I tell her what is in my humble heart?

And simple mind?

Can we be equal in love?

In souls?

If we did not match in any category,

at least we match in the fact that she

and I are ‘souls’ after all before we were made of bodies.

I left the spot and that giant is on my mind.

The human

(in response from Ellen..)

Yes, these thoughts came to me,

long after i’d gone along..

the last i saw of him,

his stretched out skin and worming mill;

so thrilled to be a part again,

to chew up dirt and drop-off chunks…

to nourish man and all his chums…

I’d been there and here before and still..

the worm is me.

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Gaia a being like myself?

Who has read “the revenge of gaia” from James Lovelock?  For years he was criticized and his hypothesis not taken for real, but never disproven in terms of scientific release.  Generations later he comes out with the latest book and still the earth is alone in its plea.  Wars, terrorist attacks, economic beliefs hit the news and make the media soar.  My environmental studies are just beginning, but time is running out and my consciousness is busy with obvious tasks not so easily taken in a daily routine.  I sold my car yesterday and even at this simple deed I did not complete it the way I had wished.  As my Peugeot may be old, but still in good shape I was not able to recycle or make it unfit for anyone else.  At the dealer there were just tons of the same, standing around taking up space and covering the soil.  It is easy to walk or ride public transportation in Switzerland, so this is a blessing for the start. It is just a start and time is running fast.  Have we passed the point of no return, is the question most delicate asked of environmental scientists all over this world.  It takes years if not centuries for the stratosphere to recover its balance for living beings below.  It is so easily concluded, not to worry the earth will survive with or without us humans (as some swift bankers conclude and keep in business as usual).  But, we are as gaia and gaia is as we are.  If something is doing her harm, she will shake and rattle and finds means of recover, this system has worked for billions of years.  She is getting older and fragile and is being challenged with unjust dismantling of substances all over this place.  My energy comes from within and I know how to shift my weight and catch the flow.  My body has aged and my spirit is strong, the similarities are there and it need be shown.  It is our intake of food, fuel and fun which is crippling us so.  Our technology is wiser and can deliver what we need without touching the earth  for years if you understand and can accept the truth for a long while.

It is just the beginning of a great change, but listen first to your body and take science, real science (for now not close to mass-media claims of relevance) seriously.  Is it just another tribal fight fought for our own existence, or the existence of a greater whole?

Each one is in charge and we are all very very dependant on each others skills.

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Polyamore a fad a habit a way of life or just an excuse?

Being single again after a long-term relationship has brought me into the scope of hunting one’s prey with some bait on the line.  It is especially interesting the belief of who is the predator.  Going straight on in an unchallenged fashion making the kill at first sight, or observing the spectacle and faking the scene to throw-out the leash by chance at a better display.  The discourse is unique as it is a one chance for most, so give all you can and make it complete.  How truthful do you need to be or how dishonest can you get?  Later explanation may settle some steam and burst other dreams, but who is truly behind all those lines and pixels and misty perfumes?  It is a new outlook on life, as I feel more aware and in tune to the elements of having been born many a moments ago!

But, what is this thing so much talked and gossiped about – polyamore?  Shared love, shared sex, shared men, shared women, shared intimacy, shared life?  When and where if at all does jealousy or trust or committment take place, as the many a books having grained thoroughly these subjects attained importance all after the fact.  Is it different for a man than it seems for me?  I can share a life or share a love or share my friends, do I wish to share my venus or share a struddle?  It certainly gets touchy, perhaps for some very obvious reasons and then I can still choose the monastery close by.  Our non-human animal friends make relations and keep their sparing partners mostly until death do them part.  We human animals find it most challenging with even a manuscript of verification to our highest courts, to make this a true statement of honour the least.  So where lies the puzzle to put me in place?  I can walk and I can ride, but never can I hide myself too long and evade that which is made to come to be or yet another bend.

the train, the stream, the ducks and me

the train, the stream, the ducks and me

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My personal balance sheet of life at once glance

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!

Our Death is our Closing Balance!

Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities

Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset

Soul is our Fixed Asset

Brain is our Fixed Deposit

Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital

Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade

Friends are our General Reserves

Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill

Patience is our Interest Earned

Love is our Dividend

Children are our Bonus Issues

Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment

Experience is our Premium Account

The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.

The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.


Some very Good and Very bad things …

The most destructive habit …..…………………………….. Worry

The greatest Joy …………..…….……………………………… Giving

The greatest loss ……………………………. Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work ……………………….. Helping others

The ugliest personality trait …………………………. Selfishness

The most endangered species …………….. Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resource ………………………… Our youth

The greatest “shot in the arm”………………. Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome ……………………….. Fear

The most effective sleeping pill ………………… Peace of mind

The most crippling failure disease ………………………. Excuse

The most powerful force in life ……..………………………. Love

The most dangerous pariah …………..…………………. A gossip

The world’s most incredible computer ..…………… The brain

The worst thing to be without ……..………………………. Hope

The deadliest weapon ………………………………… The tongue

The two most power-filled words ……………………… “I Can”

The greatest asset …………………..………………………….. Faith

The most worthless emotion …….……………………. Self- pity

The most beautiful attire …….……………………………. SMILE!

The most prized possession …………………………… Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication …….. Prayer

The most contagious spirit …………………………. Enthusiasm

Life ends; when you stop Dreaming,

Hope ends; when you stop Believing,

Love ends; when you stop Caring,

And Friendship ends; when you stop Sharing…

(Thank you dearly Sam for this piece of words, kind regards,


a path

a path

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The History of the Pharma-Cartel

As long as my purchasing power lies in the hands of a master unknown to myself, will corruption sustain. What will it take to realize I am in control of my life?



The History of the Pharma-Cartel

1911, May 15

The Supreme Court of the U.S. finds John Rockefeller and his Trust guilty of corruption, illegal business practices and racketeering. As a result of this decision, the entire Rockefeller Standard Oil-Trust, the world’s largest corporation of its time, was sentenced to be dismantled. But Rockefeller was already above the Supreme Court and did not care about this decision.


In order to disperse public and political pressure on him and other robber-barons, Rockefeller uses a trick called “philanthropy”, whereby the illegal gains from his robber-practices in the oil business are used to launch the Rockefeller Foundation. This tax haven was used to strategically take over the health care sector in the U.S..

The Rockefeller Foundation was the front organization for a new global business venture of Rockefeller and his accomplices. This new venture was called the pharmaceutical investment business. Donations from the…

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